


Tying the Knot

by waxrose



Category: Arashi (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2772659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waxrose/pseuds/waxrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was married to Nino. Legally, on-paper married. For at least the next week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was – and it's shameful to even admit it – a [request](http://help-japan.livejournal.com/2978.html?thread=844962#t844962) from help_japan on Livejournal, made over 3 years ago: _Jun and Nino get married_. 
> 
> A huge thank you to Aya, Kaille, and Erin for encouraging me and reading this in various drafts for the past couple of years! ♥

"What's your impression of Canada?"

It's about the fourteenth time they've answered this question so far, and the answers are getting as predictable as the question itself.

"Everyone is very polite," Jun said.

"Great beer," Aiba added. 

"Freezing," Nino's words were muffled by the scarf wrapped around his face.

"Poutine," said Ohno, who was seconded by a vigorously nodding Sho and Aiba. Ever since the Montreal concert, their van had started to give off a permanent smell of gravy.

Aiba immediately launched into a long anecdote about he and Ohno setting out from their hotel after drinking in Ohno's room in search of poutine at 2:00AM. Jun took the opportunity to lean back and look at the scenery out of the window of the van. 

It was a tight schedule, of course – most of their interviews were being done en-route to different places. Still, Jun couldn't really get his energy up – last night's concert had been amazing, but as always, _exhausting_. 

Jun was enjoying the tour – it had seemed like a bit of a strange idea at first, the Arashi 'Lucky Hit' World Tour. Management had been unenthusiastic about pouring money into a concert tour in a foreign country that might not be profitable. Jun had been the one who proposed focusing on smaller concert halls in several cities, rather than a single big arena. They would make up slow sales by offering ticket and tour packages to Japanese fans, as they had done in the past. They had done analyses of several countries using the international fan club they had formed years before as a basis and shown that it could work, although it wouldn't bring in much money – if anything, it might raise their international profile.

The producer for Shiyagare had jumped at the chance to join the tour, which would be one week long, to film a special episode. Because of this, the country to which they would go was to decided on the show, live. In public, they remained impartial, but they all had their preferences – Jun had been secretly hoping for France or at least somewhere in Europe; he knew that Sho had wanted to go to South America, and both Aiba and Ohno had been hoping for America. 

Nino, when pressed for his opinion, only said, "Hokkaido".

However, after all the discussions and planning, it had all boiled down to a large, spinning dart board with the names of 10 countries that contained members of their international fanclub, minus countries in which they had already held concerts (management had also set a minimum cap of fanclub members to include a country, lest they go to Bhutan and hold a personal concert for three very delighted fans), and the cameras focused on Ohno as he won the janken game to throw the dart.

Ohno had closed his eyes, let the dart fly, and when the wheel had stopped spinning, they all paused a moment for dramatic effect – or in Ohno's case, to puzzle briefly over the katakana.

"We're going to die," Nino had proclaimed in the green room, after they had finished filming. "It's a winter tour. We are going to _freeze and die_."

"It can't be that cold," Jun had scoffed, "People do actually live there."(A sentiment which, within a few months became _how do people actually live there?_ )

In the end, it had become a three city tour – Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver. To management's surprise, well over three-quarters of the tickets were sold out before opening them to the Japanese fan club, and things began to get seriously underway. They all took intensive English lessons (Sho started French lessons, arguing Canada had _two_ official languages), tour goods were designed, the set list was constructed, and before Jun knew it, he was walking off a plane and realizing that he should have packed many, many more sweaters than he had.

The cold aside, it was fun to travel as a relative unknown – they could easily walk around and browse or do touristy things without much worry about being recognized. There was security, of course, but things were looser than they were used to, and it was a nice change. 

Filming Shiyagare while traveling was interesting. Since the staff was insistent on "spontaneous Arashi", they didn't have to worry much about memorizing scripts or planning. They usually just had to go about their business and wait for a 'challenge' to happen, at an apparently random (though carefully cleared by management, producers, and any other number of personnel beforehand) time. 

Aiba had been the first to have his turn in Montreal, when he was unceremoniously "kidnapped", driven to a random point in the city with a single cameraman, and instructed to navigate his way to the restaurant they were meeting for lunch with no address, and only his English skills to guide him. 

Unfortunately for him, the neighbourhood was quite Quebeçois, and the only French that Aiba had managed to pick up was from when he had been playing around with Sho's electronic dictionary and bookmarking all the dirty words he could find.

True to the rule of variety shows, it was hilarious when it happened to someone else.  
Early this morning, sore from running circles around an arena and groggy from post-concert revels, they were all packed into their van, and the producer told them that they would be filming the next challenge.

After the interview wrapped up, the ride was long, and mostly quiet – the reporter going over his notes, Sho studying his phrasebook, Aiba and Nino hooked up to the same iPad, heads tucked close together, and Ohno napping. Jun continuted to watch the scenery outside the window, wondering what kind of challenge could involve the outdoors, and – 

\- gigantic waterfalls and - 

"Niagara," said Sho suddenly from beside him, appearing to realize it at the same moment that Jun did. "No way. You don't think they would actually…"

"Awesome! Did anyone see the staff loading in wetsuits?" Aiba asked.

"No," Sho said, sounding slightly reassured. His eyes tracked the roaring rush of the falls. "They're _big_ , aren't they?" His voice seemed an octave higher than normal.

"Don't worry, Sho-kun," their manager said soothingly from the front seat. "It's not legal for people to go over the falls anymore."

"Oh. That's good."

"They did let someone tightrope a few years ago, though," the reporter piped up.

Nino patted Sho on the arm sympathetically. "Just remember," he said, "They aren't allowed to actually kill us."

+

Their van stopped near a hotel, and they were met by the show's camera crew and (a very jet-lagged) Oriental Radio, flanked by the Funky Girls, who had shed their usual costume for some very becoming red-and-white maple leaf dresses.

"If you think of Niagara Falls," Fujimori began gleefully, "You think of…"

"Death," Sho muttered under his breath.

"Weddings!" Nakata finished. "Niagara Falls is one of the most popular locations for weddings in the world. Unbelievably, thousands of weddings are performed here every year."

They all murmured feigned surprise with appropriately impressed expressions.

"And…?" Nino prodded, hoping to get to the point and thus, back to the heated hotel lobby more quickly.

"Annnd," Fujimori was wearing the gigantic shit-eating grin that only came out when someone was about to get brilliantly humiliated. "Arashi is really close, huh? You've been together a long time."

"Well...yes," Sho replied delicately, with the air of one who knew he was walking into a trap.

"We're very close," Aiba added, sealing the deal. "Underwear-sharing and all. Buddies."

"Well, when people have been together as long as you have," Fujimori said, "They start to consider _marriage_."

There was a long silence. 

"So," Nakata said, oblivious to the building sense of panic, "Today, as a special challenge, we will be marrying you – "

"We're all _guys_ ," Aiba pointed out.

"And gay marriage is legal in Canada," Nakata flipped his cue cards and continued. "In a romantic, scenic, authentic Niagara Falls wedding ceremony – Kekkon no Arashi!"

There was, unsurprisingly, no applause.

"You can't marry all five of us," Sho said, over the staff's sniggering.

"Ah," Fujimori said. "That's true. We're going to have to decide who the lucky couple is."

Nino started blowing softly on his lucky janken fist.

"Winner or loser?" Aiba asked, as they gathered in a circle.

"Just get it over with quickly," Fujimori said. "We've got to stuff one of you into a gown before the ceremony starts."

+

The dress was a bluff, actually. Which was a shame, Jun thought, because seeing a surly Nino in a dress might have been the one bright spot in the whole affair.

Nino was in a canary yellow suit. Jun's was a pale violet. Someone had thoughtfully given the chaplain a rainbow tie. 

"What do the rest of us get to do?" Aiba asked from where he was lounging on the sidelines. Next to him, Ohno was trying to get a better view of the falls; Sho had him by the back of his pants to prevent him from going over the guard rail.

"You're the Best Men, of course," Fujimori said grandly. "You're going to serenade them after they make their vows."

"One Love?" Sho asked.

"Love So Sweet," countered Aiba.

"Lucky Man?" Ohno offered, making a rare contribution.

"When this is all over," Jun said, "I'm going to have a little talk with the show's writers."

"Okay," shouted the producer. "Let's get ready for the take." Staff and cameras scrambled, and Jun and Nino were shuffled into place, make-up staff pausing to rearrange their clothes and hair one last time. 

The chaplain was standing on a dais above them, and he gave Jun a kindly, somewhat sympathetic smile when he nodded in greeting to him.

"Okay – action!" were probably not the most romantic words to begin a wedding, Jun thought, but at the producer's words, a swell of quiet piano music filled the air, and the cameras focused in on them standing together in front of the makeshift altar, the falls roaring in the background.

Nino's expression was unreadable, and Jun fought to keep his own face straight as their stupid bandmates snickered off to the side. 

" _We are gathered here today_ ," said the chaplain, " _To witness the union of Jun and Kazunari_."

Jun's English wasn't quite good enough to understand most of what was happening, and he could see that Nino was tuning most of it out, too, although he was trying his best to stare passionately and meaningfully into Jun's eyes. Professional to the core, Jun thought, letting his competitive side get the best of him and staring back with equal ferocity.

" _And now for the vows_ ," the chaplain announced.

A cue card popped up in Jun's line of sight past Nino's shoulder: MAKE IT GOOD.

Jun was no good at trying to be funny on the spur of the moment. They should have let Nino go first, he thought, a bit irritably. "I promise to love you forever," he said, trying to remember all of the cheesy drama lines he had memorized over the years. "I promise to stay by your side and support you. I promise to be yours, always."

Aiba pretended to swoon, and Sho whacked him in the ribs, though he was also smirking. The chaplain nodded, and turned to Nino.

Nino met Jun's eyes evenly. "I promise to remember that you hate cold coffee," he says. "I promise to let you borrow all of my manga, even when you dog-ear the pages. I promise to never touch your back to surprise you. I promise that I will never forget who you are, and why I'm with you."

Trust Nino to bring down the house, Jun thought. He could feel the tips of his ears burning a little bit as the staff and ADs made noises of approval.

" _Do you, Kazunari, take this man to be your husband_ " A translator next to the chaplain swiftly translated the words for them.

Nino smiled cockily, right at Jun. " _I do_ ," he said in English.

 _This had better not be building to a kiss_ , Jun thought with building dread, as the chaplain turned to him. "I do," he said. 

"Very good!" said the producer. "Let's cut the take there, and we'll move Camera 3 to the side of the alter so we can get a shot of their kiss with a full view of the falls."

"We what and the _what_?" Jun muttered darkly. Nino rubbed his eyes, looking tired.

"Aiba-san, Ohno-san, Sakurai-san, please get on standby to sing!" chirped an enthusiastic AD with an armful of microphones.

Jun met Nino's eyes, and was relieved to see his own discomfort and horror reflected there. The only thing worse than having to kiss your bandmate, in front of all your other bandmates, staff, managers, and oh yes, the population of Japan – was having to wait a full two minutes for it to happen.

Nino squeezed his hand. "Let's elope next time," he said quietly.

Jun linked his fingers with Nino. "Agreed." _This is Nino_ , he reminded himself. It was Nino. He has nothing to be afraid of.

"I don't think I remember all of the words," Ohno mumbled sleepily, as he shuffled into position behind Nino.

"Let's make it a nice, passionate kiss," the producer said. 

The cameras started rolling, and the chaplain started speaking again, although he looked more anxious than happy now, staring somewhat suspiciously at the cameras. Jun could barely make out the words he was saying over the thump of his heart, concentrating on meeting Nino's even stare. 

The MAKE IT GOOD cue card popped up again. Jun realized suddenly that it was Aiba's handwriting, and he wanted to laugh, but Nino was leaning up, reaching a hand up around the back of Jun's neck to pull his head down to his level.

Jun has done kiss scenes too many times to count – Nino has too, of course. Neither of them are inexperienced in kissing for a camera. This was different, though, Jun thought. Maybe it was because he knew Nino too well – he wasn't thinking about how to angle his head or what it looked like. All he thought about were stupid, meandering things like _soft_ and feeling tiny, electric prickles as Nino's fingers combed gently through the hair at the nape of his neck.

All gathered were hooting and clapping as they separated. Jun's cheeks felt red-hot, and he was relieved to see that Nino looked a little unsteady. "Good work," he said, trying to relieve the tension.

"Good work," Nino repeated, not meeting his eyes.

"Please sign here," said the interpreter, guiding them to a table nearby with a piece of paper laid out on it. "This is your wedding certificate."

"Oh good," said Nino. "I can keep it with my child-minder certificate."

Jun signed quickly, glad to have the whole ordeal over with. Maybe they would have time to go look at the falls now. He remembered to charge his camera this morning luckily, and he – 

Suddenly, there were raised voices behind him. The chaplain had turned pale and was speaking at a furious speed to the interpreter. 

"Oh," the interpreter said. " _But isn't this just for the commemorative certificate_?"

"What's going on?" Jun asked anxiously. The interpreter and the chaplain were both gesturing at the piece of paper that the chaplain had handed to Nino. Jun's English was only good enough to pick out tiny snatches of what was being said.

"… _wouldn't perform unless_ …" the chaplain said, shaking his head. " _civil justice_ … _license_ … _didn't know_ … _wasn't serious_."

" _You can't possibly mean that this is legal_ ," the interpreter said, looking close to tears.

"Holy _shit_ ," Sho said." He tugged the piece of paper out of Jun's hand and started trying to read it.

Jun had a bad feeling about all this. "Will someone please explain what's going on?"

The interpreter signaled the director to switch off the cameras. "This is my fault," he apologized, bowing to them. "I can't even begin to – I'm very sorry."

"This is a joke, isn't it?" Nino asked, smiling.

"No, it's not," Sho said. He handed Jun back the paper. "You're married. _Legally_ married."

"Legally," Jun repeated, dumbfounded.

"Well, in Canada," Sho added. 

Their manager made a dying noise. 

"But that's not possible," Jun said. "I mean, we didn't want to _actually_ get married."

"They can probably just reverse it," Nino said.

"It's not that simple," said the interpreter tersely. He looked like he wants to sink into the ground. He turned to their manager. "We're going to need to get a lawyer out here to deal with this."

Their manager frowned. "Is that really necessary? That could cause a lot of trouble."

"The chaplain says that we need to go talk to the provincial marriage authority," the interpreter said. "That application the staff submitted last week for this segment – there must have been a mix-up. I told them to apply for permission to conduct and film a mock wedding ceremony, but there must have been some miscommunication, because they ended up applying for a legal marriage certificate in your names."

"So that's why they needed our passports," Jun said, his brain emerging from the dim shell of shock, the gears in his brain beginning to whir furiously. "But we didn't know that. Does it really have to go through a legal process?"

"We'll get a lawyer," their manager said. "We'll clear this up as soon as possible."

"I'm really _very sorry_ ," the interpreter repeated, hands wringing. "I'll go ahead to the government marriage bureau and talk to them. I'll see what they can do." He bowed until his nose almost touches the pavement, then rushed off.

"So…" said Aiba, and Jun had known him long enough to see how clearly torn he is between being genuinely concerned and mature about a Serious Situation, and how much he desperately wanted to laugh his ass off. 

"This will get done with quickly," Sho said reassuringly. "It was a mistake, everyone knows it was a mistake. This won't drag out long."

Ohno punched Nino in the shoulder – quite hard actually. "How dare you run off and marry another man," he whined. "I thought our love was special."

"It's your own fault," Nino shot back, slapping Ohno's butt. "You smell like gravy all the time now. And you never touch my special places anymore."

"Children, please," said their manager placidly, jabbing furiously at the touch screen of his phone.

Jun smiled, but he's kind of shocked to find his own knees shaking. Yes, it was all a mistake, but the fact that he had just legally _married_ someone was still a blow. He looked over at Nino to find him smiling ruefully. 

"Like getting your first kiss stolen by a variety show okama, right?" Nino said. "Don't worry, Jun-pon. I won't demand you do your wifely duty until you're ready. I'm an understanding and generous husband."

Aiba slung an arm around Jun's shoulders, pretending to hold a microphone to his face. "So, what are your thoughts on being the first legally-gaymarried idol in Japan?"

"I want a divorce," Jun said, with great feeling.

"I don't think that 'gaymarried' is a word," Sho said, frowning.

+

" – therefore, we will file for annulment on grounds of freedom of consent, arguing that the legal nature of the ceremony was misrepresented," Katsushima finished, folding his hands in front of him serenely on the table. On their return to Toronto, Jun and Nino had been herded into their manager's room, which had quickly become crisis management central.

It's been exactly four hours since their 'wedding', and now that Jun was out of that horrific pastel suit, had eaten a good meal, and was listening to the soothing tones of a professional, everything somehow seemed less scary.

Except the part about how this actually seemed more complicated than they had assumed, as well as far, far more time-consuming than anyone had guessed.

"Isn't there any other way?" Jun asked. "We have a concert in Vancouver the day after tomorrow. It would be great if we didn't have to deal with any 'Kiss Your Husband' uchiwa."

"Which would be so much more threatening than the usual 'Kiss Your Bandmate' ones," Nino said, although he sounded more tired than sarcastic.

Their lawyer hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose we could try to work an angle on capacity to consent – technically marriage has to involve the consensual consumption of the marriage…"

"Well, that's great!" their manager said. "As long as we can prove they haven't had sex with each other, we're set."

Considering how much time and careful planning is spent implying that they all did each other on a regular basis, Jun found it amazing that no one else seemed to catch the irony in that statement.

Katsushima shook his head. "I'm afraid capacity to consent doesn't extend to _willingness_ to consent. Since they are both physically and mentally capable of such consent, the only possibility is an utter revulsion that would inhibit sexual relations –"

"I find the idea of sleeping with him repulsive," Jun volunteered.

"I break out in hives just thinking about his penis," Nino added. "Big, itchy hives."

" – and given an impressive selection of publicly available media documenting," Katsushima seemed to struggle to find the right words, "how _close_ you are, I doubt that claim would be accepted. If anything, we would be likelier to lose."

"They wouldn't actually reject the claim," Jun protested. "There was no actual consent to a legal ceremony. They can't be stupid enough to believe we actually _wanted_ to get married."

"It's a little more delicate that you might think." Katsushima took off his glasses, rubbing at his nose bridge. "There's been international attention on your case – and the Ontario Marriage Bureau is receiving a lot of negative press about allowing a television show to use a legally-binding ceremony for a joke segment. Therefore, they are being – shall we say, difficult to deal with? At the same time, the scrutiny puts them under pressure to follow due process rather than let you queue-jump simply because you embarrassed yourselves and them for a global audience."

"Which means?" Nino asked.

"You have a court hearing in three days to verify the authenticity of your claim and proceed with an annulment," Katsushima said. "The good news is that Matsumoto-san is right; there is virtually no chance that your claim will not be accepted. The bad news is that, until then, you are legally married. I apologize for any undue hardship, but this was the best compromise that I was able to reach. There are some…sore feelings on the bureau's part about having the institution of marriage mocked and misused."

"The Japanese embassy already contacted the production offices to complain," their manager added. "They've received grievances about this segment being demeaning and homophobic. They've released an official apology, and pulled this segment, but the Canadian and international media are already all over the story."

"We can apologize," Jun said immediately.

Katsushima shook his head. "You've done nothing wrong."

"When has that ever mattered?" Nino said, somewhat bitterly.

"It's only three days," their manager said. "We'll take care of the legal issues and the media. I'm organizing a press conference for the early afternoon at the hotel, so we'll meet again just after lunch. Until then, don't release any comments about this. I'll talk to the other members as well."

"You two are lucky, really," Katsushima added, "Until a year ago, it wasn't legal for non-residents who get married in Canada to divorce, never mind get an annulment. I'm sure that an exception would have been found for your case anyways, but well – let's just say it's one less problem to deal with."

"Well, that's comforting," Jun said, trying not to sound sarcastic. He knows that everyone is trying their best, but it irritates him that this situation is happening anyways.

"Go back to your rooms, get some rest," their manager said. It's not so much advice as instructions. "This isn't going to be fun, but it will work out."

Jun shifted restlessly in his chair, knowing what was coming. "Since we had the rest of the evening off and we're flying out tomorrow, I was hoping to go and – "

"I'm sorry," their manager said firmly. "Too risky. There are too many reporters along on this trip, and now the Canadian media is interested, too. Stay inside, both of you."

Nino shrugged, and Jun felt even more irritated. Of course he didn't care – he was probably happy to be told to stay in his room for once. Anyways, Nino never responded to these things with anger, which was probably good – Arashi could stay peaceful because not all of them had a quick temper – but his apathy could be a little grating sometimes.

Nino had the right of it, though – it was no sense to get angry. They weren't in control of anything that was happening. All they could do was wait, and let things work themselves out.

 _Don't act like a child_ , he told himself. _You're past the stage for temper tantrums_

"All right," he said finally. "Thank you for your help," he says to the lawyer, who bowed deeply in response. 

Nino followed him out of the room. "Thought you might rip a new hole in someone," he said, his voice light, as they got close to the elevators.

Jun pressed the button for the sixth floor. "It wouldn't help, would it?"

"My Jun-pon, all grown up, and controlling his emotions," Nino sighed. "Who can I possibly provoke for fun now?"

"I could always make an exception," Jun suggested, as they got into the elevator. "Ripping occasional holes can be…therapeutic." 

Nino laughed. It wasn't actually that often that he heard Nino laugh, honestly, like he was surprised.

"Jun, Nino!" Aiba rushed towards the elevator, barely managing to stick his arm between the doors as they started to slide together. "Great, I caught you guys!" He joined them in the elevator. "I heard from the producer – you're under room arrest, huh?" He waved a key card in the air, grinning wildly. "Let me show you to your cell."

+

Sometimes Aiba had good ideas. Sometimes, Jun found him hilarious. And yet, there were times like these where Jun wanted to punch him in the face. They were few and far in between, mind, but they did happen. 

"This," Jun said, carefully controlled, "was not a good idea."

Nino is even more blunt. "You're a fucking blockhead."

Aiba grinned even wider, eyes crinkling at the corners. He knew exactly what he was doing. "I put extra condoms in the bedside drawer, and there are ten flavours of lube!"

"Did you even clear re-booking the room with the managers?" Jun asked incredulously. 

Aiba's smile twitched nervously, but he shrugged – Aiba was not _stupid_ , and it wasn't that he couldn't predict the consequences of his actions – he just often chose to ignore them in favour of greater fun. 

"They won't mind. I've got a key card copy for them, and it's not on management's tab." He grinned luridly. "I'll make sure to tell them to knock first."

"It's not on management's tab?" Jun repeated. Nino crossed his arms, his frown turning more pensive. "Masaki, if you used your own money for a stupid joke…"

"I didn't!" Aiba protested. "Well – not alone. Sho-chan and Leader helped. I just – we wanted you guys to be comfortable, since you're stuck here."

"You're too kind," Nino deadpanned, but he sets down his suitcase at last. He knocked a heart-shaped pillow off the king-sized bed disdainfully.

"I'm sorry about the condoms and stuff. That was just a joke, and you don't have to use them," Aiba said earnestly. "Unless you want to, of course."

"Aiba-chan," Sho's voice called from down the hallway. "Jun's manager is looking for you."

"See you! The walls are sound-proofed, so you can feel free to enjoy yourself!" Aiba beamed cheerfully and bounded off out of the door and down the hall. 

"Screw this," Nino said. "It's a room, and we're under lockdown anyways. Let's just get room service and watch TV. I wonder if there's a Wii."

"They don't put Wii in honeymoon suites," Jun said, "because most people are too busy fucking to play video games."

"They should know that Wii can be very helpful in bed." Nino fell back dramatically onto the – extremely opulent – king-sized bed.

Jun paused on his way to the bathroom, and then he decided that he didn't want to know if Nino is joking. "I'm taking a bath," he said.

"Gross."

"Not for _you_."

"Okay," Nino said, flopped over the edge of the bed and digging in his suitcase. He pulled out a thick volume of manga. "You've got ten minutes before I barge in and suck you off."

"Just because they want to be perverts doesn't mean that you have to play along."

"I know," Nino said, flipping through his manga. "The things that I do out of the goodness of my soul, really."

The bath was blissfully hot, and the warmth lingers in his skin, his muscles loosening and shoulders sinking in relaxation. He stared at the wall across from the tub – part of him felt like it was trying to process something enormously important, while another part of him was rejecting the significance of the whole matter.

He was married to Nino. Legally, on-paper married. For at least the next week.

It wasn't not a big deal, though. It really wasn't – they didn't want to be married. It was a mistake, and the whole thing is going to be dealt with. It was inconvenient, but it was going to be fine.

Married, though. Jun sunk down in the bath up to his chin.

It had never been an issue, being gay – no, that's a lie. He had never _let_ it be an issue. He had never even told the rest of Arashi – he had no idea if they had figured it out on their own, but they had never said anything. 

So – aside from it being a joke, a stupid accident – Jun was probably never again in his life going to experience this. It probably wouldn't have occurred to him to think about this if it had been a stranger, but – well.

If he was honest with himself, he has probably had a dumb crush on every single one of his bandmates at one point or another. It had with started Sho when he was young and too naïve to really hide his feelings, because the chance of having them returned seemed so possible – but it hadn't stopped with that. Jun just got better at hiding.

"Stop being stupid," he said out loud to himself, forgetting for a moment that he wasn't alone in the hotel room. He got out of the tub and pulled the plug, standing dripping onto a towel while he watched the water swirl down the drain.

Nino was already sleeping when Jun came out of the bathroom. He was sprawled out under the covers, manga on the floor near the bed. 

Jun was too tired to feel awkward anymore – much. He turned off the lights, the moonlight from the still-open blinds lighting up the room in faint silver stripes. The bed was big enough that he slid in without even making a dip in the mattress near Nino. He lay on his side for awhile, watching to see if Nino was really sleeping, or just faking. He wasn't sure he could tell, but the rise and fall of Nino's chest looked natural, and Jun found himself unconsciously falling into the same pattern as he lay still and his breathing slowed. There was something vulnerable about the soft pout of Nino's mouth in sleep, such a contrast to the sharpness of his staring – 

Oh.

Jun felt his ears turn red, and was grateful that it was too dark to see properly. Nino's mouth was curved in a smirk, but his eyes were asking a different question altogether.

"Creeper," Nino's voice was scratchy with sleep. "I knew you would wait until I was sleeping to start perving on my innocent little body."

Jun reached over to whack him. "Just trying to check if you're still breathing." 

Nino caught his wrist. "There's easier ways to do that."

Jun felt his heart stutter and speed up. Nino was using Jun's hand to lever himself closer to Jun, until their faces were barely inches apart. It was too close, and Jun found himself trying to shrink back to the edge of the bed.

"Like this," Nino said gravely, and huffed heavily right in Jun's face.

"Eurgh!" Jun nearly fell right off the bed. The smell wasn't _that_ bad, but it was not pleasant. "Go brush your teeth, toilet mouth."

Nino laughed, rolling himself over Jun's body and stumbling towards the bathroom. "Wait for me, dearest."

Jun grabbed two pillows and barricaded himself in, willing his heart to slow down again.

It was going to be a long night.

+

"The staff is checking with the Guinness Book of World Records," Aiba said the next morning over breakfast. "They're pretty sure that we can get the record for boybands with legally married members now."

"Aiba," Sho said warningly. "Stop it. You're bothering them."

"I only –" Aiba flailed in the absence of approval for his idiocy, and Jun smiled gratefully at Sho.

"I mean," Sho said peaceably, munching into his fourth piece of toast. "It is their honeymoon."

When their manager came to check them, Sho was still trying to extract grapefruit pulp from his nose, and Ohno had snorted milk onto the tablecloth. Nino was whistling contentedly under his breath as he tapped at his poached egg.

Part of the incongruity of being half a world away from home was that time itself felt somehow disjointed. The entire marriage fiasco and ensuing drama had taken place over the course of an entire day and evening, but most of Japan was only barely waking up by the end of the say in Canada – and while they slept in Canada, the events of the day had clearly caught up some attention back home.

"People think it's hilarious, mostly," Sho said. "It'll blow over quickly, so there's no need to worry."

"That's reassuring," Nino grouched, swirling the yolk of his egg into patterns on his plate.

"Stop playing with your food," Jun said automatically. "It's gross."

"You're not my mother," Nino said.

"He's your _husband_ ," Aiba said, with no small amount of glee.

Nino put down his spoon. "I miss Japanese food," he said plaintively. 

"I know a good restaurant I went to during the Olympics in Vancouver," Sho said coaxingly. 

"I'll take you there when we arrive."

Nino nodded, but Jun could still see a faint pinch in his forehead, the frown not quite leaving his face. Nino rarely bothered to complain – he would whine about stupid things, but he was pretty stoic when he was actually unhappy. Still, it had only been four days since they left Tokyo; Jun didn't really see how he can be homesick _already_.

Their manager dropped into the chair next to Jun, his tie crooked, clutching a piece of toast. "Well, it's all settled," he said, taking a giant bite of the toast. "You're going to have a bit of an extended trip."

"Extended?" Jun said, with Nino echoing him in a slightly more murderous tone. 

"Can't be helped," their manager said peaceably, with the air of a man who had given into the ring of sharks and decided to die peacefully. "It's upended schedules and all to no end, but unless you want to return as Japan's most famous newlyweds, this is how it's going to be. After the Vancouver concert and the VS Arashi taping, the other three will return to Japan directly, as planned. Nino and Matsujun will go to Ottawa for the annulment hearing. We've managed to cancel or delay any engagements for you two for that time. After the hearing has been resolved, you will return to Tokyo on a direct flight from Toronto."

"What if we're delayed longer than that?" Jun asked.

Their manager smiled. "I don't think there's any risk of that, unless one of you decides to drop the suit." 

There was a silence that was infinitely more awkward than it was supposed to be.

"That was a joke, guys," their manager heaved himself back upwards. "And it had better stay a joke, or I will have your balls."

"They're already married," Aiba pointed out. "That's adultery."

+

"Jun-kun," Ohno said, as they are all drifting away from the breakfast table, putting his hand on Jun's arm. "Can we talk?"

The request was so unlike Ohno that Jun was momentarily stunned. Ohno's eyes were serious, though, so Jun slowed his pace so they fall behind the others. "Of course – here, or –"

"We can take the stairs," Ohno suggested. 

"All right." He had no clue what Ohno wanted to talk about, but he had a feeling it had something to do with his newlywed status. Beyond that – no clue. 

They walk in silence up the first two flights, and Ohno's expression is entirely unperturbed. Finally, Jun decides to break the silence.

"Is this about me being married to Nino?"

"Hmm," Ohno said, and frowns, then adds, "Yes, but not – well, that, too." He scratched his head. "I'm not really good at saying these things." 

Jun continued to wait patiently, and after another flight, Ohno said, "The room wasn't Aiba's idea."

This seemed like a random place to start from, but Jun waited patiently. Ohno's words usually came at the speed of a two-fingered typist, and it's no point interrupting at the start.

"The staff had planned it as part of the segment," Ohno continued. "As a joke. But after the whole thing went wrong, well – anyways, your old rooms had been cancelled, and the whole hotel was booked. Aiba was worried that you would get angry at the staff or something –"

"I wouldn't get _angry_ ," Jun muttered.

"I know," Ohno said. "Still, he thought if he passed it off as a joke on his part, it would go over better."

"He's such an idiot," Jun said gruffly, but his heart isn't in it. 

"About Nino," Ohno frowned, "Nino is – he might act like it's all a joke, but that doesn't mean he doesn't take things seriously."

"Seriously?" Jun was lost. "What do you mean, seriously?"

Ohno shrugged. "It'll be over soon enough," he says evasively. "Things will be fine."

"Right." Jun felt like they were having two entirely separate conversations. They get out on the tenth floor and head separately towards their own rooms. If possible, he's more confused than before.


	2. Chapter 2

Vancouver was warmer than Toronto, and between the mountains and ocean, felt somewhat less alien. Even just putting sheer physical distance between the events of the past day made Jun feel somehow refreshed as they got off the plane. 

They could hear the noise of a waiting crowd as they are going through security, and Jun couldn't help but feel excited. This was the best part of the tour, in some ways – knowing that there were people who were waiting for them, who had been waiting to see them.

As they stepped out of arrivals, however, the welcome wasn't exactly as he had been anticipating.

First of all, the crowd was _huge_ , and it looked like the security staff are struggling to set up extra barriers and keep the crowd back. Even in Toronto, not even half this number had come out – there were reporters, too, lots of them, and Jun had a sinking feeling that they weren't just here to report on the concert tour.

The mood of the crowd was distinctly mixed. He could see uchiwa and signs, and heard the roar and high-pitched screams of waiting fans – but there were faces that were staring, glaring, yelling in what did not look like a happy manner.

Their manager herded them together, three beefy security guys descending to surround them. "Stay together and move quickly. We weren't expecting this," he glanced over his shoulder at the crowds, "We'll just get out quickly."

Jun kept close to the others, feeling Aiba grip his elbow as loud boos started to echo from the crowd. He craned his neck to find where they were coming from, and saw a large group of people with rainbow flags, standing under a banner that he couldn't read. 

Two men kissed pointedly as they walked by. One of them was holding a sign that said OUR LOVE IS NOT A JOKE. 

"I didn't realize…" Aiba's voice was thick with anxiety – guilt – all of the things that were also welling up in Jun. He hadn't realized how used he was to being treated like gold everywhere he went. He could hear fans cheering, but the jeers and yells of the protesters were louder, and the five of them were doing nothing but slinking away. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

After what seemed like hours, they made it out of a side door and piled into a van. No one talked for a minute.

Sho spoke up first, his voice shaky, "What the hell was that?"

Their manager collapsed into the front seat, looking exhausted. "Protesters – security said it was the Vancouver Rainbow Coalition, a gay-rights group. Maybe some other groups, too."  
"But why –" Jun remembered the sign. "People are that angry?"

Their manager shrugged. "Gay marriage is legal in Canada, but it didn't happen without a fight. People get pretty touchy when you come in and step on their values."

"I get that, but – " Jun felt frustrated, "We didn't mean for this to happen."

"Maybe we should make a statement," Ohno said quietly.

"No statements," says their manager quickly, a kneejerk Johnny's reaction.

"It might make things better –"

"I know," their manager said. "It might make them worse, too. Maybe the media are all over this right now, but give it two days, and everyone will realize that it's not a big deal. Anyways, these are orders from the top. Wait it out, let things settle down."

Luckily, there were no protestors waiting at their hotel, and after unloading their luggage and changing, they piled back into the van to go to the sushi restaurant along the harbor that Sho had promised to show them.

The fish was delicious and unbelievably fresh, but Jun couldn't get his mind off the scene at the airport. He didn't seem to be the only one, either; all five were unusually subdued. 

Aiba was staring morosely into his beer, Ohno scratching the long grains of the wooden table with a fingernail, Nino pushing around stray grains of rice into designs on his plate, and Sho eating with forced gusto, as if he expected food to heal the whole situation.

"Maybe you should say something during the MC," Aiba said suddenly, once their manager has left the table to take a phone call and it was just the five of them.

"Aiba," Sho sighed. "They said we're not talking about it."

"What are they going to do, cut off the mics?" Aiba argued. "Besides – like this – isn't it worse? We just look like puppets. I know it wasn't our fault, but isn't it our responsibility, too? We should say what we think," he finished, voice slightly unsteady. "I hate it like this."

"What could we even say?" Nino pointed out. "We thought it was a stupid joke, too. If they're saying that we were treating it like a joke – they're _right_."

"Then we should apologize."

They sat in silence for a minute. 

"Nino, Jun-kun," Ohno spoke up. "This is about you two more than anyone else. What do you think?"

Jun wanted so badly to say _something_ ; he was sure that they could fix things. About to speak, he caught Nino's eye. Nino looks wary, somehow – almost fearful.

"Let's not say anything yet. We don't know what's going to happen in the next day or so. We should focus on doing our best in rehearsals."

"That's that, then," Ohno said, voice turning quieter as their manager approached again.

"Well, we've got a bit more trouble," their manager said, reaching for his beer. He looked harried. "That was the producer for VS Arashi. Two of the Canadian celebrities that signed on to appear in the taping tomorrow have cancelled."

"Cancelled?" It had been Jun's idea to have them try to tape a full VS Arashi episode in Vancouver, with Canadian guests and audience. It had been a huge expense to send over all of the equipment and sets needed, but there had been a great response, and they had all been really looking forward to it.

"Is it because of…" Sho fumbled for words, and eventually just gestured around at Nino, Jun, and the whole situation.

"I'm afraid so." Their manager was glumly typing out a text. "Not surprising, I guess. I'm going to go meet with the producer now – the van will take you over to the stadium for rehearsals when you're finished." He drained the rest of his beer and stood up, leaving the five of them alone again.

"We need to remember," Sho said after a moment, breaking the silence, "People may not understand here, but it's going to be fine when we go back. This isn't going to last. It's not great, but –"

"We can't just leave it like this," Aiba protested. "It's not right. It's not who we are."  
Nino stood up, pushing his chair in. "Going to the bathroom," he muttered, squeezing past them out of their corner table.

Jun watched him go. _Nino might act like it's all a joke,_ , Ohno had said, _but that doesn't mean he doesn't take things seriously._

Before he'd even realized what he's doing, he was out of his chair and walking after Nino, not even looking back at the others.

The washroom was small and dimly lit, just two stalls and a large window leaking in pale winter sunlight. Nino was sitting on the windowsill, legs tucked up on the broad ledge. He was rolling a cigarette between his fingers, but it wasn't lit, and it seemed more like a nervous fidget than real intent.

"You can't smoke in here," Jun said automatically. Actually, it didn't seem like there were many places in Vancouver where you could smoke. At least it wasn't as cold as Toronto had been.

"I know that," Nino said gruffly, tucking the cigarette back into a pack he produced from his pocket.

Having followed him in here, Jun wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say. He was aware of how ridiculous they looked – one standing uncertainly in the doorway of the bathroom, the other perched on the window like a large bird.

"We can say something if you want," Jun said. "If you want this to stop. But it's up to you."

Nino fixed Jun with a particularly sharp look. "Why is it up to me?"

"Because –" Jun wished he had a better idea of what Ohno had meant. He felt like he was treating Nino like a fragile egg, with no idea of what come out if he let it crack. "I don't know what you think about all this."

Nino snorted. "It's just a pain, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but – oh, forget it." There was no reason in trying to protect Nino's _feelings_ when he wasn't sure exactly what they were, or if they even existed at all. They were getting nowhere with this.

"What about you?" Nino asked, swiveling on the window ledge to face Jun. There was an intensity to his gaze that was a little unnerving. "The other night, when you were creeping on me – what were you thinking about?"

Jun hesitated, but this wasn't Nino bantering. Nino wanted the truth, and that was probably the only thing that would get him anything honest out of Nino in return.

"It's a pain, but – just for a moment, I thought," He moved over to the sinks, pretending to check his reflection. He couldn't look at Nino. "If it was real, it would…it would be okay."  
The silence that followed was unbearably heavy. 

"It's not for real, Jun-kun." Nino's voice was gentle, but cautious – and closer. 

Jun turned to find that Nino had left the ledge, and was leaning against the sink next to him. His expression was hard to read – Nino could close off his feeling like a door. Jun had often wished he could do the same.

"I know," Jun said, willing his voice to sound flippant. "Good thing, too."

Nino smiled at that. Then he leaned over, and Jun only had a brief second to panic before Nino kissed his cheek gently.

"Good thing," Nino agreed, moving towards the doorway. "We would fuck things up pretty badly."

Jun stared at him as he left, wondering (not for the first time in his life) exactly how the hell Nino's mind worked.

+

Rehearsal went smoothly, and it was an unimaginable relief to be able to immerse himself in the million little details that needed to be woven together to create their concert. He could forget everything else and just do what he did best.

Despite everything that had happened, Jun could feel the rising excitement among everyone for the concert. This was the final, and the largest concert so far. 

He was feeling much more upbeat by the time they reached the hotel after rehearsal. He had stayed at the venue for about an hour after the others, going over transitions for their solos, making sure everyone was on the same page. 

He was heading to his room to go change before meeting some of the staff for drinks when the door next to his clicked open, and Sho's head poked out.

"Are you free for a moment?" Sho asked. He moved out into the hallway, barefoot and holding his laptop almost protectively to his chest. "There's something you should see." 

"Sure, come in." Jun unlocked his door, gesturing for Sho to go in ahead of him. Sho padded in and set the laptop on the large desk, motioning for Jun to sit down and read.

Jun sat in the chair, squinting at the bright screen. It was an article from a tabloid, and he scrolled down, feeling anxious.

_MATSUMOTO JUN IS A WELL-KNOWN HEARTTHROB WHOSE GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM ARE SURE TO ENSNARE MANY LADIES._

_HOWEVER, STRANGELY ENOUGH, HE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SUBJECT OF MORE THAN UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOUR ABOUT HIS CONNECTIONS TO_ –

"When do tabloids ever deal in substantiated rumour?" Jun asked dryly.

"Keep reading," Sho insisted.

_IS HE REALLY THAT DISCREET? OR DOES HE HAVE A DEEPER SECRET?_

_A RELIABLE SOURCE IN JOHNNY'S MANAGEMENT TELLS US THAT THESE MARRIAGE HIJINKS ARE ACTUALLY MORE COMPLICATED THAN ONE MIGHT EXPECT._

_"ALTHOUGH THE MARRIAGE ITSELF IS FAKE, IT WAS PLANNED TO TEST THE PUBLIC REACTION TO A JOHNNY'S IDOL INVOLVED IN AN OPEN GAY RELATIONSHIP," SAYS A COMPANY INSIDER. "BY TESTING THE EFFECT ON FANS REACTIONS AND ECONOMIC IMPACTS, JOHNNY CAN DECIDE WHETHER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A 'GAY IDOL' TO SURVIVE AND SUCCEED."_

_IS THIS THE CHANCE FOR MATSUMOTO TO FINALLY COME OUT AND SHOW HIS TRUE SELF? AND WILL HIS FANS SUPPORT HIM?_

Jun sat back. "Well," he says. "Uh."

"It's garbage, I know." Sho said quickly. "They'll just say anything they want without thinking. I just – I thought it was better if I showed you, instead of –" he swept his hands uselessly, and Jun realizes that Sho _knew_. He had probably known for a long time. 

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"It's fine, you know," Sho put his hand on Jun's shoulder awkwardly. "You don't have to be sorry for anything that has happened, or for what anyone thinks."

There was a grain of truth in the whole skewed mess of gossip, but it was not one that he could ever acknowledge. Would people believe it? Suddenly, the idea of standing on stage tomorrow night made his stomach drop unexpectedly. 

Sho picked up his laptop, shutting it. "I wanted you to see it, but I think you shouldn't care about it." He headed towards the door. "In the end, it's just us. We get to decide who we are."

_Yes_ , Jun thought, as Sho shut the door behind him, _but what if we aren't sure?_

+

The concert was great. Better than great – it was amazing. All of the uneasiness that Jun felt melted away to the cheers of the crowd. At least that, Jun thought to himself as he contentedly scrubbed himself in the shower, the roar of the audience's cheers still echoing in his ears. At least concerts didn't change. He was truly grateful that hadn't been touched.

It was an early start the next morning for the VS Arashi taping, but all of the members ended up drifting naturally towards Ohno's hotel room. They ended up in warm, heavy sprawls across beds and the floor, heads still fuzzy with cheers and mildly drunk on both alcohol and happiness, talking about everything and nothing in particular.

Jun felt relaxed and boneless, hot from head to toe. There was a certain magic to concerts, and it's hard to come down from it. It was easier like this; still the five of them. It was sometimes too lonely when it was just himself.

"Hey!" Aiba stared at his phone, his eyes wide. He passed it over to Sho, who reads for a moment, than whistled low under his breath.

"What is it?" Nino asked testily, from where he was stretched on the bed, with a lapful of sleepy Ohno. 

Sho looked up hesitantly. "You know Ohiru Tezuka, right?"

"That actor who's in all of the instant coffee commercials?" Jun said. "Yeah. Only through a few variety filmings, but – "

"He wrote a blog entry," Aiba blurted out. "About you guys." He thrust his phone towards Jun. 

With a rising feeling of dread, Jun began to read out loud.

_Lately, many people have been talking about silly things._

_Matsumoto Jun and Ninomiya Kazunari are very famous idols. They are very close. I have worked with both of them, and they are very kind, talented, and humble men._

_I have a lot of respect for them. Although I don't know them privately, I can imagine that they are telling the truth that this marriage was just a mistake. I don't see why they would lie. It's only the media that is twisting everything into lies._

_It makes me angry to see reasonable people making bigoted and crazy statements._

_Even if they had married for real, what's wrong with that? If they wanted to enter Japan as a married couple, shouldn't we recognize and respect them?_

_I have always kept quiet about my private life, but I can't keep quiet in the face of such things._

_I am a gay man._

_I live in a country that won't allow me to marry. Although there are many people braver than me who will fight for this, I have stayed quiet. Although Ninomiya and Matsumoto may not be married for real, their 'marriage' is making us all think about this._

_Is it really okay to treat people differently? Aren't all people in love the same? I hope that people can consider this carefully._

Jun handed the phone back to Aiba, who wouldn't meet his eyes. Sho was typing furiously on his own phone, the soft tap of his fingertips the only sound in the room.

"Over a million views so far," Sho said after a minute. "And most of the major media networks have already picked up on it."

"I don't see what's wrong," Ohno spoke up, from where he had his head pillowed in Nino's lap, conveniently propping up Nino's DS for him. 

"It's turning them into a symbol, that's what," Sho said. "People are using this case to call on the government to legalize gay unions. The issue is getting bigger than anyone expected."

"So we stay quiet," Jun said dismissively. "It will blow over. We don't have to do anything about it."

"But –" Aiba said suddenly, his face turning red. "What if you did something? This could be a chance to – to change a lot, Nino, you could –"

"Aiba, _shut up_ ," said Nino sharply, but it's too late. Sho swiveled towards Nino, eyes widening.

"I didn't mean – " Sho began, but Nino cut off his apology.

"It's fine. I don't care about any of this." 

"It's not okay, though," Aiba persisted, meek but determined. "They're right, you know. Why shouldn't you have a chance at a normal life?"

"We're idols," Nino reminded him unnecessarily. "None of us have normal lives." He turns his gaze back to his DS.

The room was quiet again, and Jun tried to clear the haze of shock from his mind. Had he just heard that right? Nino was – 

Nino was gay.

"I'm going to get some whiskey I bought." He got to his feet, suppressing the urge of run out of the room. "Be back in a bit." 

Jun's own room was just down the hall, and he stood inside in the dark for a minute, just staring ahead. His mind was whirling too fast for thoughts to do more than bubble briefly to the surface before submerging again.

Nino was gay. Like Jun, he was – and they were _married_.

Jun wanted to hit something very badly. If this came out at all – if the media found out – they would really have a field day with it. It wouldn't, of course – no one would say anything, even if Aiba seemed hell-bent on turning them all into gay rights champions.

Maybe it was selfish of Jun, but he didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to slink quietly back into the shadows again. 

How many times over the years had he had stupid daydreams about finding out another member was gay? Not even that about love or sex, but just – having someone to understand what that meant. Not being alone.

Jun wasn't alone now, but he felt more lost than ever.

"Need some help?" Nino was in his doorway, his slight frame a shadow against the light of the hallway. 

"I'm fine," Jun said, reaching for the light switch, but Nino got there first. "Just – just had a bit too much to drink."

Nino's smile was gentle. "I didn't mean to shock you."

"I didn't know," The words sounded awkward and ridiculous, but they had to be said. "That you were gay – I didn't know."

Nino's expression didn't flicker. "Well, now you do. Does it make a difference?" His tone was more curious that defensive.

"Did you know – about me?" Jun felt a tug inside him, like he should turn around and leave right now before things got too dangerous. Before they get in too deep to pull back. 

Nino's mouth twisted apologetically. "Yes. Or – " he moved towards Jun, and Jun had to will himself to stand still. "I guessed, anyways."

"Oh." Jun paused a minute to take that in. "Did you – how did you –?"

"J., really." Nino's voice was amused. "You spent about two years looking at Sho like you could take his pants off with your mind if you focused hard enough. It wasn't hard to figure out."

"But you never said anything," Jun said. He feels strangely angry.

Nino stared at him calmly, just a step away. 

"Like I said," he said slowly. "Does it make a difference?"

Jun swallowed, feeling the edge of a precipice under his words. "It does."

Nino was too close, he realized belatedly, and this was going too far. 

"Then, Jun-kun," Nino reached out a hand, tucking Jun's hair back behind his ear. "I won't feel bad about this."

Jun had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily, he didn't even have time to before Nino gripped his shoulder, and he kissed Jun.

It wasn't soft at all. Nino was shorter than Jun, and he was nearly on his toes, but he was kissing roughly, nipping at Jun's bottom lip with his teeth, then soothing over the bites with his tongue. 

God, but it was _good_. Jun dragged Nino closer, using his height to control the kiss, coaxing Nino's mouth open wider, until their tongues slid hotly against each other. 

Nino made a sound that sounded like a whimper into Jun's mouth, and suddenly, it wasn't enough, just Nino pressed up against him, skin hot at every touch. Jun dropped to his knees, fingers tucking into the waist band of Nino's sweats.

"Jun-kun," Nino breathed, both a plea and a warning.

Jun tugged down Nino's sweats to his knees, running his hands back up Nino's thighs. "You said it yourself," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "We'd fuck things up pretty badly."

Nino grunted in agreement, fingers curling around Jun's neck. "Might as well get started on that," he managed, as Jun leant down to breathe against the thin fabric of his underwear.

+

Their flight to Ottawa was two hours later than the others' flight back to Tokyo, so they were able to see them off. Jun went up to the observation deck to take pictures of their place ascending for Sho. 

He felt envious of them as he watched the plane gain speed, rising quickly above all of the mess of the past few days. He knew that wasn't necessarily true; the others would have to deal with annoying questions and stupid jokes in Japan, too – but at least they got to go home.

Nino was cranky the whole flight back to Ottawa, and they both eventually just stuck their earbuds in and ignored each other. Jun tried to nap, but he kept getting caught up in his thoughts, unable to drift off. 

The night before last seemed as far away as a dream now. Jun kept second-guessing if it had really happened. He had sucked Nino off right there on the floor, and then Nino had dragged him onto one of the beds and they had made out for a bit – and then they had gone back to Ohno's room; Jun with whiskey in hand, praying that his ears weren't as red they felt. 

No one had said anything – in retrospect, Jun realized, they hadn't joked about it because they might have suspected why Nino had gone after Jun. That was almost worse. It had been hard enough to look anyone in the eye during filming the next day as it was. 

At least that had gone well enough; one of the replacement guests that had joined turned out to be a famous gay comedian, who was barely taller than Ohno. His only remark about their wedding had been that their tuxedos had been hideous, which made everyone laugh, and lightened the whole atmosphere considerably. There had been no protestors at the airport this time, Jun had noticed. Maybe things were finally calming down. Two days in Ottawa for the settlement conference, and then it would be over.

Or rather – they wouldn't be married anymore. Jun couldn't say what would happen next. He had wanted Nino last night – yes, he had been frustrated and horny, and the whole situation was just doing weird things to his mind – but he couldn't deny that there was something about the way Nino watched him, the way he smiled at him…

"This is so fucked up," Jun muttered under his breath, eyeing the hard plastic pull-down tray and wondering how much it would hurt if he smacked his head on it. He had no intention of talking to Nino about his _feelings_ , but – if they ended up alone again, if there was another chance…

Jun couldn't see himself saying no to that.

+

A few hours after landing, they had an appointment with Katsushima, the lawyer they had met back in Toronto earlier in the week.

"Your case conference is tomorrow," he told them, his secretary offering them steaming cups of coffee. Jun was still shivering, even now in the warmth of the law offices. It was much colder in Ottawa than it had been in Vancouver, and he wasn't used to it anymore. "We've already entered the application, and the rest is fairly simple; we will meet the judge in charge of your case privately. Since the application was mutual, the judge should be able to confer an order based on that."

"So it should be finished tomorrow?" Jun said.

Katsushima picked up his coffee cup, eyes twinkling. "Just in time for you to catch the evening flight out." He took a sip of coffee. "I know this may seem obvious, but I have an obligation to say it anyways – annulment is different from divorce in that it voids the marriage; legally, it never happened." 

"In order to make this judgment, it is important that you are both clear in your intentions to void this marriage."

"Of course," Jun said, surprised, and Nino muttered his assent from where he wass fidgeting in the chair next to him.

"Yes, I know it seems obvious," Katsushima said, smiling. "We simply just don't need anything else lost in translation."

The meeting is brief, and their manager, relaxed by an impending end to the crisis and the decreased interest of media, practically pushed Jun out of the van with instructions to enjoy himself as he pleased.

To Jun's surprise, Nino slid out of the van and stood beside him, looking grumpy and cold, but resolute.

"Are you serious?" Jun couldn't help but laugh. Nino was bundled up as round as a daruma doll, his sharp eyes peeking out from a narrow opening between hat and scarf.

Nino snorted, his breath forming a cloud in the icy air. "I'm here for the Matsumoto Tour," he deadpanned, "You're responsible if my butt freezes."

Jun grinned, tugging at Nino's toque so it covered his eyes. "Meals are included in the tour price."

"Hmm?" Nino didn't bother to adjust his toque, grabbing onto Jun's arm and letting him steer him along as they started walking. "Better not be an expensive price."

"You'll find a way to pay," Jun was glad he can blame the cold for the redness rising in his cheeks.

Ottawa was smaller than Toronto, and much more picturesque; the frozen sweep of the Rideau Canal, the bottle-green roofs of the government buildings, and cobbled streets cornered by historical buildings.

Jun had planned for some shopping, maybe check out some of the historical buildings – the cold wasn't bad after awhile, as long as they covered up. He forgot to put his gloves on while concentrating on getting a good picture of a snowman all dressed up in a top hat next to an old-fashioned brick building. It was only a minute, but he couldn't even unzip his camera case; his fingers were stiff and cold, and Nino took one look at him and steered him into a nearby shop.

The warmth of the shop initially felt good, but Jun gasped as some of the feeling started to tingle back into his fingers. It was unbelievably painful – like a thousand tiny needles stinging his fingers. He couldn't even move his fingers properly, and they shook uncontrollably.

Nino took off his gloves and grabbed one of Jun's trembling hands in his own, rubbing gently at his skin. "You deserve this, you know." His tone is reproachful, but gentle. "This isn't Hawaii, idiot."

"I thought the sand was a bit too white." Nino's massage started to help the blood circulate through his numb fingers, and the ache began to retreat. 

"That's better," Jun manages, still surprised with how much it had _hurt_. He had never felt cold like this in his life, ever. 

"Hmm." Nino let go of his hands, inspecting the red, puffy fingers. "Keep your gloves on. I don't want to have to spend all night melting you." 

His tone was casual, but Jun shivered suddenly, less from the cold than from the image of Nino's hot skin pressed against him, everywhere. 

Tempting as that sounded, Jun had learned his lesson, and they ventured back out into the cold. He usually preferred shopping alone; he could go at his own pace and take his time as he liked. He had thought Nino would have griped and dragged his feet all the way, but he was surprisingly good company. By the time the sun had started to sink in the late afternoon, they were both almost too tired to talk. 

Nino found them a taxi – their hotel was only about five blocks away, but it was getting colder, and Jun hadn't noticed how quickly his shopping bags had multiplied.

The taxi was warm, and Jun felt like he could fall asleep then and there. It was almost a letdown to get out into the cold again, however briefly, before entering the hotel lobby.

"Room, please," Jun said as they get to the front desk, dragging his army of shopping bags with him. He was too tired to remember the proper phrases. "Ah – Matsumoto."

The woman smiled and typed on the computer, but then looked confused and rapidly spoke something that he didn't understand.

"Sorry," Jun said, "I don't –"

"Reservation," Nino cut across his words. "Ninomiya."

As if these were magic words, the woman smiled again, and there were key cards produced. Nino took them and handed one to Jun.

"I told Manager we'd share," Nino said bluntly. "We're wasting enough company money by having to delay our flights and cancel our appointments back in Japan. No sense in causing any more inconvenience."

"How thoughtful of you," Jun said dryly, but he could feel his pulse speeding up already. A bellhop was loading all of their bags on a cart, and gestured at them to follow him. The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was silent, but not altogether awkward, surprisingly.

They both wanted the same thing, Jun realized, and it was at the point where there was no reason in pretending or tripping around that fact. 

The room was spacious and warm, with two double beds set next to each other. Nino shed his shoes and layers of jackets and belly-flopped down across one of them in satisfaction.  
Jun sheds his own jacket, his hands still sore and sensitive from earlier, and lay down on the bed next to Nino. 

"I seem to remember something about melting me," he said, as Nino turned on his side to face him. They were lying parallel to each other, just inches apart, and the room was unnervingly quiet around them. It really was just them now, Jun realized – no one to hide from, no reason to pretend that this wasn't happening.

Nino grinned. "As you wish," he said, slipping his hands under Jun's sweater. Jun yelped involuntarily; Nino's hands were like _ice_ , and Nino managed to get a good pinch in at his nipple before Jun kicked him right off the bed.

"You bastard," Jun choked out, but he was laughing too hard to sound properly threatening. Nino crawled up back onto the bed, voice cracking with laughter, and he curled into Jun's side properly this time, his back against Jun's chest.

"Warm me up," he said, butting his head up against Jun's chin.

"Bossy," Jun said, but he kissed the top of Nino's head before he could stop himself. Nino made a contented noise, tangling his legs up with Jun, apparently content to just spoon and doze.

This was the dangerous part, Jun thought somewhat giddily; an armful of Nino, and no one to remind him there were lines he should box his feelings inside of. Tucked in next to each other like this, just staying close – it wasn't about sex, or being drunk or desperate. 

There was nothing either of them could blame this on, but – Nino seemed to know like he knew what he was doing, and Jun felt too warm all over to even protest. 

"We can stop this, if you want," Nino said after a time, words muffled into Jun's arm.

It took Jun a minute to realize that Nino wasn't talking about snuggling.

"Did you freeze your brain?" he demanded. 

Nino rolled over so they were facing each other again. "You're the one who said it would be nice – if it was for real. I'm assuming your brain was well-thawed out when you said that."

Jun stared levelly at him. "There's a big gap between that and actually _making_ it real." He shifted his arm so Nino's weight isn't resting directly on it, wrapping it around Nino's shoulders to bring him closer. "I don't think I'm ready to actually be the first gaymarried idol in Japan, after all."

Nino nodded, looking somewhat relieved. "It would make Aiba too happy."

"This, though – " Jun didn't know what words to call it by – him and Nino pressed together with no space between them, Nino's exhaled breath hot against his neck. "We don't have to stop – I mean," he amends, "This is good. Like this."

Nino's eyes brightened. "Is that a love confession, J.?" He leant up to kiss Jun's nose. "You're sweet."

Jun pushed him down on the mattress, trying to ignore the roar of feelings that were rushing through him. "It's our last night of our honeymoon," he remarked, leaning down to kiss Nino's exposed collarbone. "No sense in wasting the mood."

Nino arched up beneath him, grinding shamelessly against Jun. "How much long underwear have you got on?" he complained. "I can't even feel you."

"That's pretty unbelievable, coming from the human onion," Jun retorted, and there was a quick mutual fumble to peel away layers of warmth. They were both rushing, even though there was time.

Jun kept getting distracted as bits of Nino began to appear –pale skin, the tight muscles of his stomach, the sharp cut of his collarbone and poky wings of his shoulder blades.  
Everything about his body was familiar, but Jun had never been able to just _look_ , and know that if he wanted to, he could reach out and touch.

Jun finished undressing first, despite taking the time to carefully fold and stack his clothes on a chair. He sat with his back against the headboard. He can't help but think about the protestors kissing at the airport, of the rainbow-striped flags echoing Arashi's own colours. 

"Did we do it wrong?" he said. "Should we have said something?"

Nino was still struggling with his fuzzy long-johns, the crackle of static electricity from his leg-hair audible as he tugged them off. He paused and turned towards Jun, fully naked now. 

"No," he said frankly. "Maybe I should care more, but I don't." He shuffled up across the bed, until he was straddling Jun's lap. "I want at least one secret left."

Jun felt dazed, faced with a lapful of very naked Nino. "I'm not sure I'm interested in being your secret," he said sharply, though his heart was not in it with the way Nino was grinding against him.

"Secrets aren't such bad things, Jun-kun," Nino kissed his shoulder. "Secrets are things so important that you don't want to share them with _anyone_." 

"If two people know something, it isn't necessarily a secret," Jun retorted, trying to get the words out in one breath as Nino's kisses wandered lower.

Nino raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. "Just between you and me, then." 

+

They were at the courthouse early, suitcases piled into their rented van in the assured hope of being able to go directly to the airport afterwards.

Jun had somehow been expecting a full-on court room, with an elevated seat for the judge and tables filled with lawyers – but of course, his main court experience came from watching too many legal dramas. They are led up a set of stairs into a spacious, comfortable room, where a woman sitting on a couch stands up and shook their hands, introducing herself as the judge involved in their case. She is wearing business attire, but no black robes, and Jun feels a bit underwhelmed at the casualness of the whole situation after such a dramatic build-up.

"Let's begin," she says, once they are all settled, and the translator begins to convey her words in an undertone to them. "Mr. Matsumoto, Mr. Ninomiya, your application for the annulment of your marriage states that you were unaware of the legal nature of this ceremony. Is that true?"

"Yes," Jun responded, a bit annoyed by the way the translator repeated after him, even though he was speaking in English.

Nino agreed in Japanese, clearly deciding to let the translator have all of the fun.  


The judge nods, and begins speaking to the translator, too quickly for Jun to understand. 

"There has been some – " the translator seemed to struggle for the right word for a moment once the judge was finished speaking, "media coverage that claims that you sought a legal ceremony, which was spun off as a joke to avoid negative press. I understand that gay marriage is not legal in Japan." Her smile was sympathetic, and it took her next words for Jun to figure out where this was headed. "As public figures, it's understandable to want to maintain your reputation. However, it is unacceptable to play with something as solemn and sacred as the legal institution of marriage."

"They most certainly did _not_ – " their manager began hotly, but Katsushima silenced him with a hand on his arm, and gestured towards Jun and Nino. 

"You need to state your intent," he said simply.

This would be the moment, Jun realized – if this were a drama or a movie. His eyes would meet Nino's, and he would stand up and deliver a dramatic speech about how he felt, and then they would walk out of the room hand in hand. There was nothing left but their own words.  
However, as much as he felt about Nino – whatever those uncertain, fledgling feelings were – he did _not_ want to be married to him.

"We didn't know," he said, "We played rock-paper-scissors – to decide. It was supposed to be fake. Maybe it wasn't very respectful, but – it wasn't real. I don't want to be married to him," he added empathetically, in case he wasn't making himself clear enough.

There was a pause for translation, and the judge appeared to be suppressing laughter when she looked to Nino. "Mr. Ninomiya?"

"I didn't mean to marry him, your honour." Nino said cheekily, and Jun mentally thanked the miracles of translation that will iron out the flippancy of that statement before it is conveyed to the judge.

The judge nodded, and shuffled through the papers in front of her. "In that case, I am willing to consider your application for the annulment of your marriage." She glanced over her glasses at them. "I will file an order immediately. In the eyes of the Province of Ontario, your marriage is officially null and void."

Their manager let out a relieved sigh. Katsushima shook the judge's hand, and Nino met Jun's eyes. "Good work," he mouthed, and Jun smiled, repeating it back.

At least they didn't have to kiss for the cameras this time. 

+

It was a long ride to the airport for an even longer flight, and Jun wasn't stupid enough to mistake the look in Nino's eyes when he purposefully excused himself to the bathroom before they left the court house.

Nino was already waiting in a stall, and the look he gave Jun when he walks him made Jun want to shove him against the wall and take him right there. It was a near thing.

"Divorce is a stressful thing," Nino said solemnly, as Jun shut the stall door behind himself, locking them in. 

Jun laughed, backing Nino up against the wall and working on Nino's belt. "Sorry we couldn't work things out." He leant down to catch Nino's earlobe in his teeth, enjoying Nino's surprised hiss.

"Well, we can always consider a private settlement," Nino said, roughly palming Jun's dick through his pants.

Jun used one hand to pin Nino against the wall, resting two fingers against Nino's bottom lip. "Suck," he ordered.

Nino opened his mouth and licked at Jun's finger, sucking it in slowly, teeth scraping against the skin. Jun groaned, trying to focus on getting Nino's belt off with one hand. 

Nino's hands covered his, and in a second, his pants were pooled around his ankles. Jun cupped the hot weight of Nino's balls in his hand, enjoying the flash of heat in Nino's eyes. He took his fingers out of Nino's mouth, shivering as Nino nipped at his fingertips. 

He let his hands skim over the curve of Nino's back, down the waistband of his underwear.

"Jun," Nino said, almost a whine. His head was buried in Jun's neck, and Jun felt a fluttering kiss under his ear. He moved his hand down further, hooking his spit-slick finger and pushing it inside Nino – not deep, just teasing at the entrance. 

Nino was all tight muscle, clenching in surprise around his finger. He massaged Nino's entrance in slow circles that had Nino rocking his hips into Jun, shamelessly hooking one leg around Jun's waist so that Jun's finger slid in deeper. 

"I want to fuck you." Jun's voice sounded strained and rough to his own ears – he had little control left, and this – it was not enough. He wanted to be inside Nino, buried deep and hot. He wanted to see Nino lose control and clutch at him – god, he wanted it all, and this was _not_ the time or place.

Nino lifted his head, leaning back against the wall, and his eyes were wide and dark, Jun couldn't resist sucking at Nino's bottom lip, and Nino answered with a kiss that is unexpectedly soft, reaching a hand up to cup Jun's face.

Their breathing was ragged when they separated, but Nino held Jun's gaze.

"Later," Nino promised, pushing back against Jun's finger inside him, his hands gripping onto Jun's arms like a lifeline. "Properly."

Jun kissed him again, concentrating on their mouths moving against each other, the soft noises as their lips meet and part. "My place," he muttered against Nino's lips. "You've never been there, right?"

Nino slipped his hand into Jun's hair, bringing Jun down to him so their foreheads bumped gently. "I get the feeling I'm going to be over a bit more," he said, his voice rough. "Now that we can live in sin again, and all." 

"I knew I should have signed a pre-nup," Jun said resignedly, dragging Nino in for another kiss.

+

ARASHI NI SHIYAGARE | 16 APRIL 2016

[enter on cue]

Sakurai: Please welcome tonight's guest, Ohiru Tezuka-san!

[applause]

Sakurai: Ohiru-san, you've become incredibly popular lately.

Ohiru: Ah…thank you. It wasn't really my intention to come into the spotlight quite so much.

Sakurai: No, no, it's quite incredible.

Aiba: By the way, which Arashi member is your type?

Sakurai: Now?!?! You want to talk about that now?

Aiba: I'm curious.

Ohiru: Ah, that's quite embarrassing. What should I do?

Aiba: Stop smiling like that, Nino. It's creepy.

Ninomiya: I'm just trying to look appealing.

Ohiru: When I was young – I had a poster of Ohno-san in my bedroom.

All: Ohhhhhh!

Ohno: Really?

Ohiru: Really. Well, this was when I wanted to be a dancer. I thought Ohno-san was really cool.

Ohno: Ohh~ thank you – what do you mean, "was"?

[laughter]

Sakurai: So, tonight, Ohiru-san – it seems like you've brought some souvenirs for us.

Ohiru: Yes – I brought some coffee. I love coffee, and there are many different flavours – 

Matsumoto: This sounds like a commercial.

Ninomiya: [sings] _Hotto hotto, yu~kkuri susuru_ …

Ohiru: [laughs] Thank you. Now – I brought different flavours for everyone. Sakurai-san is toffee flavoured…

Sakurai: Woah, this smells really good! Can I try some?

Ohiru: Go ahead, please. Ohno-san is Grand Marnier – and Ninomiya-san is Irish Cream.  
Ohno: Ohhh. Is that a type with liquor?

Ohiru: Well, just the flavor. They're complicated tastes, so I don't know if you'll like them. For Matsumoto-san – 

Matsumoto: I really love coffee.

Ohiru: I'd heard so. For you, I brought a dark roast. It's not flavoured, but it's very bitter and strong. I'd recommend it.

Ninomiya: You know, when we were in Canada, he was barely human until he had gotten his coffee.

Matsumoto: Shut up.

Ohiru: And for Aiba-san – French Vanilla.

Aiba: Oh! It smells sweet. 

Ohiru: My mother loves it. I thought Aiba suited a sweeter taste.

Aiba: Thanks! Er – ah – 

Aiba: Are you sure that doesn't mean I'm your type?

Matsumoto: [hits him]


End file.
